Monday, June 13, 2005

pay back?

I have had one idea in my mind all day : the day Ya Vez visited my house to talk to Cliffy. How shitty to be asking questions about my personal relationships. How very macho and fucked up.

And though I don't believe in Ya Vez' changes, I am still surprised (why am I always still surprised by her actions?) that Ya Vez would dare to bring the woman she's seeing now into my workplace to introduce her to an organization she doesn't much like, and people she's not especially close to. Just to stare at me sheepishly but not be upfront and introduce me to the woman.

There were other opportunities for her to do the tour, or she could have chosen not too come in at all. I had a moment where I wanted to tell this woman to watch out for Ya Vez. I wanted to do the same kind of unsuspecting knock on the door that Ya Vez gave Cliffy. I don't guess Ya Vez remembered I do the mailing list at work and I have this woman's contact information. There are still secrets to be told, aren't there?

But that would make me like Ya Vez. She's honest and an "old soul" alright, when it benefits her. At other times, pure childishness.

While I know it's wrong, I did at least feel better that she didn't look good in her freaky gold lame coat at the woman's dance, or any better today in her drag femme look. I guess she is back to where she was before me - Now she just has to forget how to eat out, kiss with any decency or truly be there for someone without expecting anything (wait, she never did get that one down).

Okay, I feel better.

No comments: