sleeping

I have slept all week. I've not slept great but I have slept and I am so thankful for it. Of course, I did not write but you can't have it all!

I especially thankful for the sleep because my work has been increasingly demanding since I'm leaving the department for another. Add to that my child's recent expectant behavior (it is her birthday - that's her reasoning) and a test on Thursday and I had to give in to sleep.

So by 10 or 11 I've been the good girl and gone to bed.

I felt better this week, not just because of sleep but because I was able to tell a number of people what it was I really wanted in my life, what kind of people and how I couldn't feel less than totally free and so I couldn't conform to others ideas or expectations.

woo hoo!

lordlordlordlordlordlord

I got that job I applied for a couple of weeks ago at the downtown campus. I am delirious with happiness - more pay, closer to home, closer to the arts/downtown scene, well-established program and easy going folks...

As my friend Rafael used to say: Thanks God! [insert sexy Dominican accent here].

blindness

I'm parking at Crossroads Park & Ride lately. The good: I'm saving gas - this is especially good since I recently saw an executive from one of the oil companies excusing every "presumption" the American consumer has about oil production and the reason for increasing gas prices. I was actually convinced for a moment - I was coaxed in by his answers that seemed to make sense. I mean, sure, why not dig deeper, open up Alaska more, for more opportunities? And of course he is for alternative fuel but he makes sense when he says that corn isn't the answer because it's a food source and that can go to people! I just don't feel qualified enough about the history around this but I need to be. It's ridiculous to me that I don't have the information I need to either really agree with him or be able to refute him.

The bad of the park and ride: having to wait for the ONE bus that comes every 1/2 hour of so that goes from UTSA (my current income source) to the park and ride. I'm not a patient woman so I work late to get to the bus stop 2 minutes before the bus is supposed to arrive only to have to wait 10 more minutes. I haven't been doing my yoga or breathing lately, or writing consistently! so, I have been a little ansy.

Another plus side: I've been reading books on the ride up and down to the University. I just finished Blindness by Jose Saramago. It took me a while to get into it, then I was completely engrossed and disgusted, then I didn't want to read any more of it, and then I was glad it was done. What turmoil! I need a light comedy after that book! The story goes that this white blindness takes over a country, leaving everyone without vision while the country stops production, falls into anarchy and its citizens become less and less human. It's a macabre work, almost as emotion producing as when you truly learn of destruction (9/11, Darfur) and see it. I haven't had a book affect me that way in awhile but alternative realities and science fiction have their base in truth and theory, in probable outcomes when looking at the world right now - and that is scary enough.

I think, as a writer, it's curious that the book shows a writer who, with blank paper and a ball point pen, manages to write his and his family's story, despite blindness, and likes ballpoint pens because he can feel where the marks are. It is also sad that he quietly dismisses his own story as not as valuable as that of the main narrator and the group of people she is saving because the narrator is the one person who can still see and, among her group, are those who were the first to be blinded.

More later. I'm still processing.

Freedom from Workplace Discrimination Act

S.A. State Rep files pro-gay bill in Texas House
from QSanAntonio

State Representative Mike Villarreal (D-San Antonio) filed a bill in the Texas Legislature on January 26 that would prohibit a wide range of discriminatory practices based on sexual orientation or gender identity or expression.

House Bill 900, the "Freedom from Workplace Discrimination Act," would ban discrimination based on one's actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity or expression. If passed, the law would provide for equal treatment in a variety of areas related to employment and the ability to live in a home or neighborhood of one's choice. The bill also provides a great opportunity to educate the public about the discriminatory environment and actions often faced by the GLBT community.

Villarreal, who represents District 123, has long been considered a friend to San Antonio’s GLBT community. The Stonewall Democrats of San Antonio honored him last September with an award for Political Advocacy. "Rep. Villarreal hopes he can count on the support of the community for this legislation," says Andrew Dupuy who serves on Villarreal’s staff as the liaison for GLBT bills. "This bill will require extensive support from citizens and community organizations to navigate the arduous legislative process. Action alerts and legislative updates sent to your members, and your organization's and members' letters, testimony, and phone calls -- all will make the difference in moving this bill through the legislative process."


Write a letter of thanks for Representative Villarreal at:

Capitol Office
Room CAP GN.10
P.O. Box 2910
Austin, TX 78768

Or, call him with your thanks: (512) 463-0532

Or, fax the letter to: (512) 463-7675

Or send him an email by using the email option on the House of Representatives website: http://www.house.state.tx.us/members/email.php?dist=123&rep=michael.villarreal

No matter how you say it, say thanks!

On a personal note:

I had a really hard time at my last job because of general stupidity regarding gender and sexual orientation issues. But the hard time I had was nothing compared to the experiences of others. It's about time queers in Texas could receive some comfort in their places of work. Far too many of us are working class (especially in Texas) and the idea of leaving a job, despite abuse, is an impossibility. Bills like this one will encourage queers to use their voice, knowing they have full support of the laws.

I remember sitting in front of the executive director and the operations manager and telling them that I felt that I couldn't say anything when a co-worker used anti-gay language in front of me (even if I did indeed tell her something) and the executive director stated that their employee manual offered protections based on sexual orientation. When I asked her to show me because I had reviewed the manual previously, she pointed out all the other protections and looked at sexual harassment then said "oh, well, we mean to offer it, even if it's not listed, we have good intentions here and don't mean to show disrespect." When I told her that Texas doesn't have such a protection, she turned that information to make it the answer I did not want - that she no longer had to deal with this and it was probably just a one-on-one situation - not an issue which would benefit all the staff in having the discussion. Nice.

avoidance/unavoidance

Lordy, I've done really poorly at connecting with my friends. I'm not doing so well avoiding anyone either.

Work has gone from bad to worse. I remember thinking, after being there one month, that it seemed like each week was another rock thrown at me. Now, 7 months later, and I have a stockpile of rocks!

Dating is fruitless - maybe I'll talk about it later.

And I can't believe how much I'm looking forward to Tigrette going back to school - something about her schedule making me, potentially, write more consistently.

I'm hurting because I'm not writing consistently.