Cuban Jokes (is this an oxymoron?)

My mother's tapping the Cuban vine this morning. She and countless others are awaiting the latest on a now fresh Castro, healthier than ever. So, she got this horrible/wonderful jokes that I had to post because they had me laughing out loud (people is neighboring offices grew quiet, waiting for a second voice to come from my office):

Joke #1:

Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in heaven. Fidel must go to hell.

So Fidel goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself at home. Then Fidel notices that he left his luggage in heaven and tells Satan, who says, "No hay problema, I'll send a couple of little devils to get your stuff."

When the little devils get to heaven they find the gates are locked - St.Peter is having lunch - and they start debating what to do. Finally, one comes up with the idea that they should go over the wall and get the luggage. As they are climbing the wall, two little angels see them, and one angel says to the other, "My goodness! Fidel has been in hell no more than ten minutes and we're already getting refugees!"

Joke #2:

St. Peter came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Cubans up here who are causing problems. My flute is missing, mojo sauce is all over their robes, they are making guayaberas from their robes, they have domino tables in the cafeteria, and they're wearing baseball caps instead of their halos. They refuse to stop making Cuban coffee on the heaven's stairs, and some of them are walking around with just one wing."

The Lord said, "Cubans are Cubans, Peter. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil".

The Devil answered the phone "Hello? Damn, hold on a minute".

The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?"

Peter replied "I just want to know what kind of problems you're having down there".

The Devil said "Hold on again. I need to check on something". After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said "I'm back. Now what was the question?"

Peter said "What kind of problems are you having down there?" The Devil said "Man, I don't believe this....Hold on". This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes.

The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry Peter, I can't talk right now. Those damn Cubans have put out the fire and are trying to install air conditioning."

at last, a word on Castro's whereabouts

The media has been surprisingly quiet as to Fidel's health, even to Raul's absence from view in Cuba. Everywhere in Cuba and Little Havana, even in New Jersey I'll bet, small groups of Babalows or Santeros are gathering to meditate on his death or life or in the limbo he must be in. Several have reported he is no longer with us.

Cubans spread gossip amongst themselves too: My mother called me yesterday to tell me, almost in whisper, that a Russian paper had an article about how both Fidel and his brother had been killed and that remaining government heads are unsure as to the next step. And, of course, that Washington knew already.

Worse that Bush was caught saying Cubans living in the US now deserved to be able to go back to their homeland and reclaim their living and work spaces. It was just a few years ago that Bush celebrated, in the White House, the impact of Cuban Americans in the US, with the 100th anniversary of Cuban independence. So, does he want Cubans here or over there?

My mother, always in bed by 9:30, sent me this picture by email last night around 11:30:



Seems Fidelito's headed here. Wachale Bush!