Thursday, July 12, 2007

the empire of lights

This summer's been unusual. Night birds, not present last year, have been singing outside my apartment starting at 12:30 in the morning for the last month. The night sky is gorgeous almost every night. Venus has been sitting low in the horizon just as the sun goes down really late in the evening. All of it brings up in me this joy of nature but also that strange, almost romantic uneasiness in the air.

I walked out of my geology class tonight feeling pretty good. I made a 70 on my first test (not my favorite moment) but my test on Tuesday left me with an 88 in my hand tonight (much better). I'm also tremendously enjoying work. I am surprised and happy for the change in my space.

I realize now I just wasn't a good fit for my previous boss, despite my trying to support women and be part of the academic world. I thought it was me, that maybe I should have stayed in nonprofit but it really was something that had little to do with me. I realized that when, on Tuesday, my previous boss emailed me, suggesting that I took the personal information of the young woman who I'd had such trouble with in my office almost from the start. I was able to feel empowered enough to say, point blank, "why do you think it would be necessary for you to ask me if I'd taken personal information?" - a question she did not answer.

Forget all that - I'm writing today because of the beauty of my space, my luck in being where I was at exactly 9:05 p.m. today. As I walked out of the Geology and Chemistry Building, I saw the deep color of the trees, the burgundy-colored stones on the pathway, the dark faces of the buildings and, in looking up, saw the sky still bright - like a deep ocean blue - but still obviously colored in daytime blues.

I said one word: Magritte.

2 comments: said...

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