Thursday, April 19, 2007

once again, my child trips me out

Delhi's been reading all these books about the Statue of Liberty. She has a memory that's immense (must be related to her packrat abilities since everything has an important connection to some memory of a past event) - So, she's been recounting facts, including that there are 7 spikes on her crown to indicate the seven oceans, that her index finger is 8 feet long and that the people of France gave her to us as a gift of friendship. Plus, that she wears a size 879 sandal. Talk about having to buy shoes at the drag shops!

So we are talking last night on the way home and she tells me her two favorite women in history are Sacagawea and Dr. Elizabeth Blackwell. I didn't know she was reading this kind of stuff. I am amazed and think more and more about how she will continue to surprise me with her voracious learning (which her school passively allows) and her ability to truly relate what she learns to everday life.

Somehow related - for me - I had dinner with Terry yesterday at Demo's and we were all surprised because there were belly dancers. I love the music, very bass-driven, with nice syncopated undercurrents. I think I'm going to pull out my old belly dancing exercise tape. That was fun to do. But, in talking with Terry afterward, she told me I was different. That was nice to hear. Maybe because she has met a lot of women interested in what another person can provide them, or because of general materialism - but I told her I used to be quiet about being aligned another way but I see it as a gift.
Part of my trying for an MFA is not just for the hopeful financial benefit for my family but that I was hoping to make a difference in my community with this additional tool for my use. The continued education will strengthen me - of this I'm sure.

An MFA, for me, is also a selfish thing - a way to focus and give me guaranteed space for my writing. As a parent, as a lover, as a working class woman, my writing is always put to the side. Hell, even as an activist, the work is put aside - usually waiting until a fever breaks out somewhere in the body that doesn't allow for any more procrastinating - it just has to come out. But this is akin to my waiting for my head to be really pounding before I decide to take an aspirin.

All this to say that I hope my daughter is selfish for those important things, is tremendous and amazing because she wants to be and won't hold it back. I will have raised an incredible woman if I can support those things in her. I always saw parenting as an obligation to produce powerful and loving people who will walk boldly into this world.

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