Wednesday, January 18, 2006

tarot readings/cappucino frothiness readings/clouds descending

I was going through all of my business cards early this morning and found a card for a great card reader who does his work at BookPeople. He gave me a great reading. Turns out Cliffy came home one day with his card and she was feeling all loving - said that he said the cards showed we had a good foundation and relationship but that I didn't always understand her and she would have to verbalize (I am exercising my right to reword his words) so that I could help her.

Used to be I thought love between Cliffy and I wasn'tenough. Now, neither is magic. If not love or magic to motivate us, what makes us move/choose?

I went to work today. It's a place that's more structured than I'd realized or would like. I'm used to nonprofits with few boundaries, where everyone does everything. Maybe that's why this group is doing so well financially, and seems to be doing good work.

On my way home I happened by a bus stop and saw an old aquaintance. I got plenty of rides home when I was without a vehicle so I turned around and gave him a ride. Within a half breath, talk of my former workplace started. Girls, it's worse than I could have imagined: people not representing themselves correctly, friends helping friends, CDC money no longer trickling in, and those remaining thinking they have all the answers but coming to other groups with more questions than solutions. People keep asking me to do something, say something, start some fire or point some fingers. Where do you start?

All this week people have been talking to me about karma. My only beef with the whole idea is that it becomes so pseudo-spiritual to believe in those aspects of a religion without having to commit to the rest. Then, if karma is what keeps us from acting up, why do we have a mouth and eyes to see injustice at all? Why are there whistleblowers who, like a surge of energy, make a change within what's considered appropriate or customary behavior.

My head was all over today. I need sleep even if I'm craving a double espreso con panna.

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