little brown sun

I don't know why it upset me so much to see that this ceramic sun I got in my sophomore year in high school, personally painted and with the biggest red lips I've ever seen on any clay figure, was broken. I bought it at El Mercado when I'd go downtown on the bus by myself and just hang out.

I had the sun hanging, by a little nail, above a light switch in my kitchen since February. I used to wear the sun sometimes. Pin it on my school bag or hung it on my wall of suns in my first big apartment in San Antonio.

In all that time, in all the banging, falling, misplacing, it had never broken.

But, a couple of weeks ago someone dropped it when turning on the kitchen light. I remember hearing it fall but can't place who or when. I'd never touched it when turning on the switch - I suppose it's because it's my house and I know where the light switch is. But, this weekend I happened to look at it and several of the rays of the sun chipped or broke off entirely.

My feelings were so hurt. With everything going on right now I didn't want to see this small symbol of cultura and happiness broken. I took it down and replaced it with a tin heart cut out because it would not break if it fell. I can't throw it away but don't know where to place it. So, I'm going to place it here:



I'm not the kind to carry things with me. For some reason I carried this around and now I'm going to think of a place to put it where it can now stay.