Thursday, August 25, 2005

it hurts to laugh

No, I didn't learn my lesson with the first illness (which was, it turns out, strep throat, not tonsilitis). I had one beautiful day of true food eating and was back to feeling nasty when the antibiotics wore off.

I wondered what was up with my throat. I used to have throat problems when I was on the cusp of new writing/great change, but this second bout of illness (still strep), has me thinking I've been moving too fast in my body and mind.

It's been a hellish kind of year, even if there were some great things, so I am SO looking forward to my birthday to be done with this year. I talked with Ya Vez and told her it started with the open house we had for our new home and her new office. People were jealous or upset we should be so happy. People should learn not to read the outside story so blankly. What's the name of that David Byrne song about a man who can change his face to truly show his character?

My head, like this entry, is all over the place.

It doesn't help that I had to have a ct scan this morning because the doctor thought I might have an abcess in my throat. The iodine injection was horrible and I felt so horrible for an hour after. I left the place crying because the machine was so bad and I felt so alone. I felt so embarassed about the whole thing too because there I was, a grown woman, sitting in some dark parking garage crying my eyes out.

I'm feeling calmer now, and things seem to have finally settled some. My throat hurts like mad but I just keep the liquids up and everything's good. I've got to look half decent since I've got Tigrette's open house at her school tonight.

Oh lord, all those kids...

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