Friday, June 10, 2005

reminder dream

When I saw Cliffy the other day I looked at her as though I couldn't recognize her but I was also upset with her for leading me through her fear/insecurity. I had a dream about her the evening before (appropriate, huh?) where there was a line of the people I had dated or had a relationship with and she was at the front of it. Her face was blushing and she wanted to look me in the face but couldn't. She wanted to say something but her words were jumbled between uhms and huhs.

And I was red in the face with frustration because she couldn't give me one word about missing me. Her last email to me, worse of all, was about how she would miss Little Lion because we weren't talking. Yes it's true - every single mother wants to hear that the person who claimed to love them will only miss that person's child (especially if you don't ever mention missing the person who introduced you to the child - hmm, who was that?).

I'm not quite sure why Cliffy keeps coming up. I suppose it's because La Deb asked me about her, how I felt about her while we were going out. I'm not angry. That's not complicated enough a sensation/emotion. All I want to be sure of is that I don't make the same mis-read ever again. I also don't want to be in a relationship and be processing the last woman.

No comments: