Saturday, April 16, 2005

new chapter warrior

I'm going to a show tonight that's part of a tour stop for the Tranny Roadshow ( While the website shows some incredible potential for diversity, the performers at tonight's event will be predominantly white. Still, there are so few doing quality, gender queer stuff I want to support.

On the homefront : I cannot believe how good I slept! Those who know me know my bouts with insomnia and bad dreams when I do sleep. From the last trip Ya Vez made out of the house last night to this morning, the house has felt a lot lighter. Even my grass looks more green and the dog is more calm. There's goes the susto!


I had a great breakfast and conversation with TH this morning. TH did this incredible painting of me! I've never been more honored. I've posed for paintings before but never felt like I'd been adequately captured. And I hadn't even taken my clothes off for this painting!

Of course, our main topic was relationships and sex and the things we do or deal with in order to get fucked. TH is straight so she has it easier, she admits. But even then, she expertly described, there are only a limited number of times you can have sex with someone without there being some expectation for something else. The lesbian community here wants instant relationships. It's like Sea Monkeys : add lube and instant family.

Yes, yes. I want a relationship. But I want solid friendships that become community and family. And I'm busy, working on the stuff I want right now.

I am so tired of playing the femme (though I love being the girl) in lesbian scenarios, waiting for the other person to tell me what they want and can provide. I want someone to woo me and be open with me. I'm tired of being so ready to get on my knees, going down.

No comments: