Saturday, December 31, 2005

can't believe it

I don't want to believe that maybe I'm just not supposed to be in this city. Just in the time I've lived here I've known three wonderful people who've died, lost a job and lost a community, had my writing stop and start so many times I should just stop altogether, started and ended an abusive relationship and lost some of the joy that took so long for me to wake up in my body.

Now, almost to the year after splitting with Ya Vez, Cliffy says she can't handle the stress of our relationship. There's a lot of story here but I just can't say it. My belly hurts just thinking of it. The thing that sticks in my mind is her promise to never do what she did to me the first time - never run off because of fear or stress. She promised me.

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