freedom

seemingly easily understood word - freedom - but I'm like those academics and that one crazy dude who created the most renowned dictionary of the time - I have working drafts of what the word means.

maybe my definition has to move more along the lines of the photographic dictionary, with images which evoke some emotion that awakens the majority with some understanding.

if so, mine would be a split screen of the wreck of a campsite, mid-morning, no breakfast or fire started, much packing to do, and the woman who thinks you two are "dating" has made you momentarily mad but starts hammering that tiny nail in by making you the bad guy to the 10 year old child for not letting them paddle in the canoe. split with the image of a phone call-less week and this new, beautiful ebony djembe drum made with earth-friendly wood and, stamped on the goat skin head, the words "freedom drum".

so, camping started my week wrong but meeting a couple of really great academics [who knew?]this last week, buying thoughtful gifts for friends and family and, more than anything, sitting quietly this weekend and feeling, really feeling, that crispness like an early winter's breeze, of freedom. A sensation I haven't had access to in over a year. I'm finally starting to breathe deeply again.

hush now

haven't completely forgotten about my blog but, like my poetry, I seem to start a line or two then the only appropriate next line is an empty space




not sure how this started but it seems to be plenty affecting

and it may coincide with my own dating scene, not being completely able to speak up/say it/give my point of view.


i spent more of the day cleaning up the house, getting rid of old stuff, recycling. now i watch the banana trees wisp across the living room windows, giving the illusion that it's fresh outside and, for some unexplained reason, hot in the house.


heading for bed.

resolutions - a little late but still

1. Change my name (again) and flash on memories of prior names when people address me by them.
2. Repeat (as well as possible) accidents that proved to be valuable.
3. Speak slowly, luxuriously.
4. Hear voices but consider their weight in proportion to the sky/nature.
5. Give in to my demands.
6. Theaten myself for not giving in to my demands.
7. Sleep on the fault line and dream precariously.
8. Set an extra place at the table.
9. Crete my personal vision statement.
10. Plan my escape.

Proposition 8 National Protest

I'm posting this because it's necessary to continue the dialogue however, while I do see the need for continued discourse and protest, I would rather tell California that I won't be visiting them any time soon than to hold a protest in Texas (or any other state not allowing marriage for queers) when there is so much work to be done here. It's a bit hypocritical that we are pointing fingers at California when we have made a point here in Texas to make marriage equal one man + one woman.

lipstick economy

I've been looking at and buying lipsticks (even as I've now stopped buying espresso-laden drinks on Fridays before work, or eating out as often, or buying bras). Who knew I was taking part in an indicator of a tough economy!

lipstick (ascending) by claes oldenburg

delhi delhi bo-berry banana fana fo-fairy mi my mo-merry delhi

Lilia and Carol visited in August and took some great photos. I managed to take one of my little one, the Delhi monster, as she dried off over a grate on the sidewalk (after playing in the fountains).

In another the group of us saw La Virgen in an organic interpretation of the mixture of stale water, slime, trash and leaves. Hey, she's been spotted on a pizza pan, ice cream spill, as a water stain and on toast. No surprise she'd show in a passageway for rain runoff.

We walked a little of downtown and saw the renovated plaza created in front of the church that was here at our city's founding - San Fernando Cathedral.

The streets have been paved with stones and great fountains have been set up. The plaza is an expansion of the city's Main Plaza, just across from the courthouse and leading to a quiet part of the Riverwalk.

Lilia sent me the link to her photos and I got them just in time - the weather has been rainy the last few days, leading to a cool day in the 70s. Perfect for the pumpkin patch trip I planned for Delhi this weekend, and more perfect for walks downtown.

looooove fall, loooooove bryn christopher

Maybe it's fall that calls out all the sweater-wearing, deep thinking, thought provoking music and art and dialogue but even San Anto is feeling it. There's the city's fall arts festivals, which includes fotoseptiembre, the international accordion festival, dia de los muertos, jazzsalive and more (yes, my birthday!).

Then there's new albums like that one of Bryn Christopher. I've been listening to BBC Radio 2 for some time now at work. The accents remind me work is not the only thing in this world and the music selection is American + more/better. Think Otis Redding with 80s music but smart enough to avoid all the techno.

Nice.